Basket of Love

I put together this Valentine's Day basket for my daughter's elementary school.  They are having a silent auction this weekend and I thought it would be neat to donate some of my product (and perhaps drum up some new business).

This is the first basket I've done and I thought it turned out quite nice (once I discovered glue dots).  Look forward to doing some other baskets in the future for various events.

Rut

I'm in a rut and not sure how to get out.  A friend of mine summed it up best when she told me she feels like she is failing at everything.  That's kind of how I feel right now.  I go through the motions of work, go pick up the kids, take them to their activities and fall into bed.  The only pure enjoyment I have is working my Scentsy business and snuggling in bed with my Kindle.  I feel like a total failure as a mother probably because my oldest is constantly making me feel like a shitty mother.  I feel like I am constantly trying to make her happy and no matter what I do, she is never satisfied and always wanting more.

I feel overworked and underappreciated.  Yes, I am 99% of the population and that's why I feel so silly even posting this.  But the fact is that I just don't give a rat's ass about anything anymore.  That is not like me.  My mom always told me that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing 100%.  I try to live with that motto but man am I failing at it lately.

Don't care what happens at work.  Don't really care what happens at home.  Don't really care about how the girls are doing in school.  Don't care if we have food in the house (there's always Jack in the Box down the street).  I am just going through the motions.  I sat at a recent PTA meeting and just stared off into space.  Didn't have anything of value to add and I just sat there because a seat needed to be filled.

The last few days I keep telling myself something is missing in my life, but I can't figure out what it is.  I feel unsettled.  Would a new job help?  Probably not because that just adds more stress and I don't want to learn another job.  Would a new car help?  Probably not because then I would be pissed off about a new car payment.  Would new children help?  Probably not because I don't want to go through the infant stage again.  Even though my children drive me crazy to no end, we're halfway to getting them out of the house so why would I want to start over?  Would a new house help?  I have been really giving this a lot of thought lately.  But then just thinking of the daunting task of getting our house ready to sell and trying to find that dream home just sends me back to bed and into my reading hole.  Would me staying at home trying to expand my Scentsy business help?  I think I would be happier if I could stay home and do this, but I was a stay at home mom several years ago and it financially ruined us.  I would hope that if I decided to stay home, that I learned a lesson and at least worked part time to supplement my income.  But then that just adds stress to me and some guilt on my part because I don't want Geek Boy to feel like he has to take on the financial burden.

So there you have it....If you are texting me, emailing me, Facebooking me and I'm not responding it's probably because I don't feel like socializing.  The only time I feel like doing any of the above is when I'm working on Scentsy.  So unless you're wanting to place an order, host a party, or join my team I probably won't get back with you...LOL

I Did It!!!!!!!

I set several goals for 2011-  Lose weight, adopt a boy, become a Stay at Home Diva, become debt free, get my children under control, read 52 books.

I was debt free for two months until Geek Boy's car decided to catch on fire.  So technically the only goal  I accomplished was reading 52 books in 2011!!!!  Perhaps if I wouldn't have been reading so much, I could've lost weight, and I could've gotten my children under control.  The adoption goal didn't work out simply because we were not willing to change our lifestyle according to the state's mandates.  Still working on the Stay at Home Diva thing, but I've been working on that for 6 years so who knows when or if it will happen.

It was a lot harder than I thought it would be.  In September I was on a roll and was ahead by 8 books.  But then I just stopped reading.  I couldn't figure out a genre to read.  My reading drought came to an end at the beginning of December.  I was determined to reach this goal.

Here's a list of books that I read:

1.  Lineage of Grace
2.  Blood Orange
3.  After
4.  Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World
5.  Into the Wild
6.  I'd Know You Anywhere
7.  Room
8.  Water for Elephants
9.  Mudshark
10.All Stations Distress
11.Redeeming Love
12.The Weight of Silence
13.Calvin Coconut
14.The Condition
15.Medical Error
16.Crossing Oceans
17.Sing You Home
18.The Atonement Child
19.I Know This Much is True
20.Night Road
21.Heart of the Matter
22.The Murderer's Daughter
23.The Virgin Suicides
24.Saving Max
25.Inconceivable
26.Her Last Letter
27.Look Again
28.These Things Hidden
29.Messanger: The Legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs
30.Indian Killer
31.Story of Beautiful Girl
32.The Notebook
33.The Rose Killer
34.Red Tent
35.Hunger Games
36.Catching Fire
37.Mockingjay
38.Stuck in the Middle
39.Shiver
40.Linger
41.Forever
42.Turtle in Paradise
43.Still Missing
44.Daniel's Gift
45.The Case of the Mistaken Identity
46.Never Knowing
47.Wild Times at the Bed and Biscuit
48.Silent Run
49.Sarah's Key
50.The Midwife's Confession
51.Pearl in the Sand
52.The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven

The book that had the most impact for me was Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.  I read it early in the year and I still have not found a book that tops this story.  IT IS A MUST READ!! I have yet to find anyone who did not like this book.

The most emotional book that I read was Crossing Oceans by Gina Holmes.  I cried so much while reading.  My kids thought I had absolutely lost my mind.  I warned several friends to not read the book at work during their lunch hour, but they didn't listen to me and I got a lot of "I should've listened to you" comments on my Facebook.

The best series I read was the Hunger Games Trilogy.  Really didn't think I could get into the series but for whatever reason, the timing must've been just right because I was sucked into the books instantly.  Can't wait for the movie to come out in March.

The weirdest book I read was Room.  It was very different but well worth the read.

The longest book I read was I Know This Much is True.  I tried reading this about 13 years ago, when Oprah originally told me to, but I was busy taking care of a newborn and just didn't have the time to read.  I think the size of the actual book was intimidating to me, but this time around I read it on my Kindle.

My favorite non fiction book was Inconceivable.  This family has incredible strength and faith.  Not sure that I could've done what they did.  Actually I know I could've but I know it would've been an emotional nightmare.

Not sure what my 2012 goal will be but I'm sure it will be over 52 books.  Reading truly relaxes me and it something I must do to unwind from a busy day.  To follow what I'm reading go to www.goodreads.com and search my name.  We can be friends on this website.  I get a lot of book ideas from this website.  Books that I normally wouldn't read, I have found on this website and for the most part have enjoyed all of them.  I love to see what others are reading.

155 of 365...An Apple A Day

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a Coke a day keeps the bitch away...

154 of 365...We're Out...

Geek Boy and I have decided we are not going to do fostering and will not adopt through CPS.  I'm okay with it and I'm glad I finally saw his view point and realized this would be a lot of work and frankly, I'm not willing to change my whole lifestyle for the State of Texas.  The rules are crazy and I understand why so many kids end up in foster care and age out of the system.  It's sad and it breaks my heart, but this is not for our family right now. 

We have not told our Family Specialist yet and at this point I could care less if she contacts us.  It's ridiculous that our Home Study was done on August 10 and it is now October 20 and we are still not licensed.  I know...I know...this is par for the course when you deal with the state.  All the more reason why this is not for us.

We would still like to adopt but not through CPS.  And since we don't have $30,000 to spend on a private agency, I'm not totally sure how we will adopt. 

In the meantime, I'm going to really focus and have fun on the Scentsy business.  Geek Boy and I are officially debt free and we are going to enjoy the financial freedom.  Although, I'm really itching for a new car.  Nothing is wrong with my current car but I think I would look smokin' cool in a brand new white Ford Explorer...LOL 

That's all I've got for now...

153 of 365...Taco Soup

Today I had my Scentsy Launch Party.  Several of my friends and family came over for lunch and dessert and listened to me give a sales presentation.  We all had a great time getting to know each other and visit.  A couple of people I hadn't seen in like 3 years and it really meant a lot to  me for everyone to take time out of their busy day to help me with this new business adventure.  So again, A BIG THANK YOU!!!

I served Taco Soup and have had several requests for the recipe.  So here it is:

2 lbs ground beef
1 small onion
1 can ranch style beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can lima beans
2 cans corn (drained)
2 cans diced tomatoes
1 can Rotel with green chilis
1 package taco seasoning
1 package ranch dressing seasoning
1 1/2 cups water

Brown meat and onion.

Mix the meat mixture with all of the other ingrediants and put in crock pot.  High 4 hours or low 8 hours.  You can also do this on the stove but I've never cooked it on the stove so have no idea how long it would need to cook.

Garnish with cheese and/or tortilla chips. Service 10-15 people.  Freeze leftovers.

152 of 365...Dear No-Sense-of-Humor Family Specialist

Dear No-Sense-of-Humor Family Specialist,

I really appreciate you working so hard on our home study.  We appreciate your honesty when you told us it would take 6 weeks to get it completely typed up.  We understand you're underpaid and overworked.  Thank you for all you do and without a doubt, Geek Boy and I could not do your job in a million years.

We have tried to answer all of your questions with great thought and honesty.  Questions like: How was your childhood?  Why do you want to foster and/or adopt?  What is your happiest memory as a child?  What was the most traumatic experience in your childhood?  How do you deal with grief?

Even the toughest questions you asked like What is meal time like in your family?  You didn't even cringe when I said Older Drama Queens are pretty much fed Pop Tarts and cereal for dinner.  You seemed very unsurpised when we showed you the pantry during the home study and there were 20 boxes of cereal and 5 boxes of Pop Tarts.

When you asked about the frequency and satisfaction level of mine and Geek Boy's sex life, I was taken back a little by the directness of the question, but I answered it.  By the way, I hope you didn't honestly believe when I told you 7 days a week, morning noon and night, and it's earth shattering.  That was MY sense of humor coming out but I'm really not so sure you caught on to that because you just sat there stoned face and typed away.

On Friday afternoon you asked the toughest and most personal question so far.  What is my hair color?????  Seriously????  You need to know this why?????  Perhaps when a child is placed into CPS care and you're looking to place him, you need to make sure we are a good fit based on hair color?  Isn't that kind of like profiling?

Not only is this a very personal question to answer but it's a very HARD question to answer.  If you would've asked me 5 months ago what my hair color was, you would've gotten one color.  If you would've asked me 6 weeks ago when you spent 6 grueling hours at my home, you would've gotten a whole different color.  Hell, if you would've emailed me on Thursday afternoon, the color would've been different yet again.

So after consulting with my wonderful hairstylist, the answer to your question is: 6/77 with 6/4 and highlights.

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance to you.  If the color changes at anytime between now and the time we can finally adopt, I will certainly keep you informed.

Sincerely,
Diva Finch